Yellow Eggs & Jam

Catch the reference in my title?  I thought I was being clever.  I'm only four days late for Dr. Suess' birthday too.

Just in case you were wondering what sort of oddball mind thinks this way and all those other weird ways about food, I've gotta tell you, I don't have an answer.  Sorry (And in the off chance you don't think it's weird, we should get lunch sometime!  All other diners within hearing perimeter, beware).  But I just recently found this irregular mental architecture of mine has it's origins way back beyond when I was five.  At least that's some of the earliest evidence I have of it.

My grandmother was recently doing some cleaning in her room, walked into the kitchen, said that I might want to take a look at something after which she laid this on the counter and walked out.

Hmmm...ok Grandma.  I'll take a gander at it.  Oh look.  Aw, how cute.  I must've given that to her when I was little.  I was such a sweet little boy.

I was such a weird little boy. 

"...remember all your colors & shapes....remember all the colors in the rainbow"??

Really Ian?

I think my parents' note at the bottom was for fear that my grandmother might think they were in the smallest way responsible for that rather transcendental composition.

Possibly cute for a five-year-old.  Also really funny.  With the color scheme I've got going there, I must've been thinking of Fruit Loops or about the Lucky Charms rainbow or something.

I've been keeping busy over break.  Usually steamy, bubbling, molten concoctions evoke rather hellish imagery.  Not this one though.  I'll possibly have to save a post about this for later.

One of my family's favorite past times is bringing cookies to various places.  It's amazing how many people want to be your friend when you've got cookies.  In high school all the teachers loved my brothers and me because we would frequently bring in a whole tray of homemade cookies.  I think they were sad after Matt graduated not so much because they loved us but since it meant no more Mama Mac's cookies.

But today the roles were reversed.  Being home for spring break, it was my turn to make them for mi madre to bring to school.

Doesn't it look like the the outside of a cavernous, dark hole in the side of a mountain high up in the air, the ground frosted with a light covering of snow that has briefly melted only to freeze in the cool, night air creating a beautifully dangerous landscape that must be negotiated with awed care?  That'd be one cave I wouldn't mind visiting.  If only I could go spelunking in an cookie.  Life would be complete.  I wouldn't even mind getting lost in that cave.  I'd never go hungry!

Despite all temptation and wild daydreams, I wouldn't dare eat these.  Not today.  I'm the kind of thoughtful son who knows that they have another purpose...bribery.

And if I'm not going to eat one, them I'm sure not going to take any chances that someone else may eat one!!

But since this is already a really long post, I'm gonna blow through the main section.  No extravagant dinner or dessert out here.  Simple home-stuff.

 Home-made bread in the toaster.  Can't beat that!

 Eggs....jam....I know where he's going with this...

...jammed toast (is that a real adjective?) served with a nice omelet on the side.

...or is it?

Didn't see that coming did you?  A jam and egg sandwich.  I know people like their cheese and eggs, but believe me, you have to try jam and eggs.  It doesn't seem like that strange a combination to me (then again that's me speaking), but most of the time when I mention it to people, or better yet when they see me eat it, all I get is this really weird face contortion directed right at me. 

Anyway, since I'm constructing this little beauty, the godbite has to be planned from the beginning.  My favorite part of the slice is the crust.  People whine and complain about crusts, and some even cut them off.  But this isn't your pitiful supermarket brand featuring a measly excuse for a crust which is really more of a sad attempt to block you from the ecstasy of the fluffy, white interior.  This crust has real bite and complements the chewy insides.  Thus, you'll notice the heavier loading of jam along the top crust.

Bon appetite!  Give it a try some time.

Knights of the Ice Cream Table

SPRING BREAK! One of the all-time high points of the spring semester and well deserving of a celebration.  Already halfway through the semester!  Sick!

Now I know some people observe this festive occasion by heading down to the beaches of Florida...

...(which got nothing on "da Jersey Sho'."  Just fyi to you crazy people who somehow think the show is a real, true-to-life documentary, umm it's not.  Also, in NJ, we call it the "beach" not the "shore" - except for those from north Jersey who should really just be annexed to NY)...

...or some other really warm place while a few who consider themselves outside the box and creative thinkers head up to the mountains for some skiing (crazy people, what are you smoking!?). 

Me?  I also like to celebrate.  And by celebrate, I mean eat.  And by eat, I mean eat.

Like most spring break plans, I too have been planning mine for quite a while.  A friend was going to pick up my brothers and me and drive us home.  Except!....instead of heading straight home, we were going to drive 30 miles in the opposite direction through rush hour traffic.  What a way to celebrate!  All for this!

This is the Green Knight sundae from the Charcoal Pit in Wilmington, Delaware.  This medley of deliciousness boasts vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, marshmallow fluff, banana slices, walnuts, whipped cream, and a maraschino cherry. 

Notice how it's overflowing the sides of the gigantic goblet - a goblet by reason of its ridiculous size and the fact that the name of this sundae hearkens back to the medieval days of chivalry - and puddling at the bottom.

My heart went out to the waitress.  Her hands were covered with the fudge, marshmallow fluff, and melting ice cream that was dripping down the sides, and then she washed it off.  How can you not lick your fingers!!?  Poor girl.

Oh majestic mountain of marvel!  How dost I love thee!

Ever felt the need to break out into some good, old, Old English after reading about King Arthur's knight's?

I really wasn't as excited about the break aspect of spring break as much as I was for the opportunity to devour this beast.

Every knight needs his sword, and this Green Knight sundae comes with its own.  It is not for the faint of heart nor the weak of arm to wield such a weapon.  It's balance, perfect.  It's design, flawless.  Long enough to pierce deep into the flesh of the ice cream beast and slay him where he stands and yet strong enough to withstand the fierce battle that must precede such victory.

This dessert has a second bonus in addition to just tasting great.  It requires skill, planning, and an intimate understanding of physics to eat.  Notice that primordial soup of chocolate and vanilla gathering at the bottom.  Resorting to the traditional method of carving out a spoonful with a downward sweeping motion results in swelling sea of chilled cream that threatens to break the boundaries of the goblet.  Care, delicacy, and patience - that's the ticket.

Finally beyond the danger zone...

...and down to the godbite...errr "godslurp."

Mission complete.

And the crazy thing about the Charcoal Pit is that the sundaes aren't the only outstanding thing on the menu.  In fact, this place is probably better known for their milkshakes.  These are no Mickey D's, weird colored shakes.  They are premium shakes made with real ice cream.  Go to the Charcoal Pic, get a shake (or two), and finish off your meal with a sundae - it's all part of a healthy and well-balanced diet.