Just Stupid Good

So here I am ensconced on some pretty awesome pictures for a blog, but with a vibe antithetical to the typical loquacious propensities customarily spurred on by such images.  Lest I am tempted to posit the remote happenstance that I might still manage to pull something off by interspersing a smattering of high-brow verbiage...

...I am reminded that it would require a lot of time spent searching the thesaurus.

So I'll best be moving on.  <-- that's more like the typical grammar level I'm feeling right now.  The longest word is 6 letters and formed by smashing a suffix onto a four-letter word like I was the Large Hadron Collider (adding prefixes and suffixes is so much more exciting when it's phrased that way).

Onwards to things more worthy of your attention, like cookie dough.

Thrown in ice cream, or baked, or baked and then thrown in ice cream, or just eaten raw, it's pretty good - to make a dramatic understatement.  I've never realized it before, but the way I've always thought about cookie dough has always been so one-dimensional.  I would take it and eat it inside the box never thinking of the limitless possibilities available to it.  Cookie dough could only do one thing at a time and that was it.

Well, I lie.  There's always been cookie dough ice cream on cookies to make an ice cream cookie sandwich.  But even that is hardly revolutionary thinking.  It doesn't even require cookie dough ice cream.  Any will do.

But now, say you were to replace that ice cream with raw cookie dough. 

Yeah.  Has it registered yet?  Raw cookie dough between two baked cookies.  There isn't even a metaphor I can think of for it.  It's just stupid good. 

(the recipe for those who'd like)

For cookiage this serious, I had the uncontrollable urge to build a pyramid (it's best never to the strangeness of those urges or you'll begin to wonder about yourself).  Except it was more like a triangle.  But a pyramid would have been cool.  That's what I want to be buried in - a cookie pyramid,....not a triangle.  Actually, I'm rather like the Bermuda triangle of cookies.  They disappear if they get too close to me.  So I'm a cookie-eating triangle wanting to be buried in a cookie pyramid.  That's quality stuff right there.

 And a close-up for good measure.  Close-ups are always needed.  I wish I was as photogenic as it is.

I don't doubt that these things could actually be used as bricks for building a pyramid.  They are quite heavy.  You've got like four cookies worth of material there.  But because it's a sandwich, it only counts as one dessert.

That's why those food judges on the Food Network say presentation is everything.  It can make or break the dessert.
1 cookie sandwich = 1 dessert
2 cookies + filling on the side = 3 desserts (if not more)

 Such a solid dessert.  Chocolate cookies with chocolate chip cookie dough filling.  Fills the mouth like an explosion.  A good explosion.  An explosion where if your mouth could talk it'd say, "I just can't take this it's so good!" 

....oh...yeah....your mouth can talk.

Nom-noms...

...num-nums...

...and last but not least, yum-yums.

Yellow Eggs & Jam

Catch the reference in my title?  I thought I was being clever.  I'm only four days late for Dr. Suess' birthday too.

Just in case you were wondering what sort of oddball mind thinks this way and all those other weird ways about food, I've gotta tell you, I don't have an answer.  Sorry (And in the off chance you don't think it's weird, we should get lunch sometime!  All other diners within hearing perimeter, beware).  But I just recently found this irregular mental architecture of mine has it's origins way back beyond when I was five.  At least that's some of the earliest evidence I have of it.

My grandmother was recently doing some cleaning in her room, walked into the kitchen, said that I might want to take a look at something after which she laid this on the counter and walked out.

Hmmm...ok Grandma.  I'll take a gander at it.  Oh look.  Aw, how cute.  I must've given that to her when I was little.  I was such a sweet little boy.

I was such a weird little boy. 

"...remember all your colors & shapes....remember all the colors in the rainbow"??

Really Ian?

I think my parents' note at the bottom was for fear that my grandmother might think they were in the smallest way responsible for that rather transcendental composition.

Possibly cute for a five-year-old.  Also really funny.  With the color scheme I've got going there, I must've been thinking of Fruit Loops or about the Lucky Charms rainbow or something.

I've been keeping busy over break.  Usually steamy, bubbling, molten concoctions evoke rather hellish imagery.  Not this one though.  I'll possibly have to save a post about this for later.

One of my family's favorite past times is bringing cookies to various places.  It's amazing how many people want to be your friend when you've got cookies.  In high school all the teachers loved my brothers and me because we would frequently bring in a whole tray of homemade cookies.  I think they were sad after Matt graduated not so much because they loved us but since it meant no more Mama Mac's cookies.

But today the roles were reversed.  Being home for spring break, it was my turn to make them for mi madre to bring to school.

Doesn't it look like the the outside of a cavernous, dark hole in the side of a mountain high up in the air, the ground frosted with a light covering of snow that has briefly melted only to freeze in the cool, night air creating a beautifully dangerous landscape that must be negotiated with awed care?  That'd be one cave I wouldn't mind visiting.  If only I could go spelunking in an cookie.  Life would be complete.  I wouldn't even mind getting lost in that cave.  I'd never go hungry!

Despite all temptation and wild daydreams, I wouldn't dare eat these.  Not today.  I'm the kind of thoughtful son who knows that they have another purpose...bribery.

And if I'm not going to eat one, them I'm sure not going to take any chances that someone else may eat one!!

But since this is already a really long post, I'm gonna blow through the main section.  No extravagant dinner or dessert out here.  Simple home-stuff.

 Home-made bread in the toaster.  Can't beat that!

 Eggs....jam....I know where he's going with this...

...jammed toast (is that a real adjective?) served with a nice omelet on the side.

...or is it?

Didn't see that coming did you?  A jam and egg sandwich.  I know people like their cheese and eggs, but believe me, you have to try jam and eggs.  It doesn't seem like that strange a combination to me (then again that's me speaking), but most of the time when I mention it to people, or better yet when they see me eat it, all I get is this really weird face contortion directed right at me. 

Anyway, since I'm constructing this little beauty, the godbite has to be planned from the beginning.  My favorite part of the slice is the crust.  People whine and complain about crusts, and some even cut them off.  But this isn't your pitiful supermarket brand featuring a measly excuse for a crust which is really more of a sad attempt to block you from the ecstasy of the fluffy, white interior.  This crust has real bite and complements the chewy insides.  Thus, you'll notice the heavier loading of jam along the top crust.

Bon appetite!  Give it a try some time.

Triple-Double Happiness

Sorry Manning brothers, but I have a bone to pick with you.  Payton and Eli commit a horrible crime when competing in the DSRL.  I give them bonus points for having a cup of milk on hand because you can't get a much more classic combination than cookies and milk.  That said...they're licking the icing off of the Oreo!!!!  This isn't let's find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie pop (I never did have the patience for that).  It's an Oreo for pete's sake!  Everybody knows the icing is the best part, and you save if for last.  Or else, what do you do once the icing is gone, and you're just left with the cookie part?  Ok, ok.  I have met a few people who actually prefer the cookie over the icing.  That's just odd to me though.

Remember the joy of trying to pry the two ends of the Oreo off and the rush of intense exhilaration when one cookie comes off clean and the entire piece of icing is left sticking to the other half?  It's not weird that I get excited by that, is it?  There are also mega bonus points for getting the cookies to come apart without breaking!  I know some avid backers of the twist-and-pull method while others, myself included, make use of the classic thumbs-as-a-wedge (man that's nerdy) approach to separate the cookies.

In the era before double-stuffed, I'd make my own by combining the two halves - I was so ahead of my time.  And then Nabisco made possible the world of the quadruple icing Oreo combination when they rolled out the double stuffed!  Wow was that good.  Tip top godbite material right there.

And now they've given us...the Triple-Double Oreo.

Not only is it twice the icing, but it's double the flavors.

Just like those double-decker PB&J sandwiches that all the cool kids ate at lunch.

Almost like a vanilla, chocolate, twist soft-serve cone...but not.

Using the thumbs-as-a-wedge approach.

 

Clean off both sides...

...and then combine...

...for one awesome cookie.  Consuming this cookie in anything more than one bite will place you in direct violation of the godbite.  It also almost reminds me of a double patty hamburger slapped between two pieces of fried chicken.  I actually haven't eaten anything like that, but I'd like to.  

How do you separate an Oreo? Weigh in on the poll on the right side of the page.