Playing With Your Food

I don't know about you, but my mom always told me not to play with my food. Some people may not have listened, but I did.  I was a good kid.  I didn't play with my food.  Well, at least not in a way that would qualify as "playing."  I was sneaky.

I should've been allowed to play with my food, because I ended up going all cerebral on it.  If I couldn't play with it, then I'd think about it.

"They may take our lives, but they'll can never take our freedom!!"

(Yeah I did just pull out a Braveheart quote in reference to food.  It may not have worked perfectly, but that's how seriously I take it).

And that's how I would subversively play with my food.  Well, it technically qualified as "eating," but I was still having a blast.

Nothing was too little to think about.  Not even M&Ms.  The peanut ones were the most fun.  That's until they came out with the pretzel M&Ms.  Chocolate covered pretzels are so good!

 I'm sure I'm not original or anything, but its boring to just pop them in your mouth and munch.  So much more fun to eat the outside leaving the center intact.

Almost like trying to peel an orange and keep the skin in one piece.  Except that'd be a million times harder with an M&M.

 Looks so much smaller now.

To be honest though, I was kinda disappointed that there was just a pretzel nugget inside.  I was hoping for something more similar to a real pretzel like they had in the commercials. I've managed to get over my disappointment... a little.  I'm still a bit resentful.  They did get my hopes up after all.

So I don't know if my method for eating a pretzel M&M qualifies me as having food ADD, but -

...who am I kiding...yeah it does.

Food Science

I'm sorry.  I've been gone...for a month.  Or more.  My bad.  No excuses.

Well, I've got plenty of them.  Like this biochem exam staring me in the face.  But you don't care.  Because it's a ton more fun when its food staring you in the face.  Believe me, I agree.  

Which leads me to my deep scientific question of the day:  What came first, the wawa or the hoagie?

I thought about this a lot today.  Probably more than I should have. 


There are the testing supplies.  It's hard research but someone has to do it.  I volunteer my time.  Anything to serve my fellow man.

Unveiled.  Such a dramatic moment.  My favorite Wawa hoagie.  Meatball with provolone, Parmesan, roasted peppers, and oregano (makes everything in life better).

I was doubly happy because the Wawa person (I prefer "magician") didn't cut it perfectly in half.  Bonus points if you can figure out why that makes me so happy :)  That story for another day.

 As good as it smelled, I paused for a second to debate whether or not I could eat such a work of art.   It was actually only a fraction of a second.  Probably whatever the shutter speed was on my camera.  But, I couldn't tell you that because all I have to do if point my camera and click the button.  Yay for technology making life easier and people dumber!

 MEATBALLS!!!!!!!!!!

At halftime.  Let me tell you, it took some awesome skill and technique to eat this thing and not get it all over my camera.  I didn't even get it on my shirt which was even more amazing. I have a couple nice red stains on white shirts from other not so successful tries.

Finally got to my godbite - the crusty end of the hoagie, one entire meatball hidden away inside with the melted cheeses and dripping peppery goodness falling out the side.  Then, I heard a knock on my door.  Sorry whoever it was.  I heard you.  But I didn't answer. I was about to eat my godbite, and you sure as anything weren't going to interrupt that.    Not if I had anything to do about it.  And I did.  And it was good.  Probably a good thing I didn't answer the door.  You probably wouldn't want to have shaken my hands or looked at me talk.  But the dumbest smile of pure bliss would probably have been rather amusing.

But in the end, I never did figure out what came first.  I figure that's how science works.  You research, you can't find anything specific, you ask for more funding saying that you are closer to the answer but have not completely elucidated the complete mechanism whereby a effect b and yada yada. So if you would like to fund my continued research into this highly scientific endeavor, just let me know ;)

How We Decide

Not at all infrequently, we must make difficult decisions.  Some are more difficult than others, but, nonetheless, a decision must be made.

This reminds me of one of the toughest decisions that I had to make almost daily during my freshman year in college...what to eat for dinner at the dining halls.

I'm serious.  I'd get in one line at a serving station, think twice, get in a different line, realize that all I wanted was a deli sandwich, take a few steps, stop, turn around, twitch back in the other direction, freeze, head for the salad bar, falter, nearly trip over my feet, and then just stand spinning in a circle trying to decide what would give me the greatest marginal benefit (that was for you bro.  Logan likes applying economic theory to food.).

It was horrible.  Such a tough decision.  But then I got smart.  See, they would post the menus for the week online.  Know where I'm going with this?  So at the beginning of the day, I would search the breakfast, lunch, and dinner menus and figure out beforehand what I would eat for the day.  And, voila, no more looking like an idiot in the dining halls.

Now some people make difficult decisions by flipping a coin, doing eeny meeny miny moe, or by asking advice.  I prefer going with gut instincts.  Probably because it has the word "gut" in it and it makes me think of food.

I am now past the dining hall days and face more difficult decisions like what medical school I would like to go to.  While deciding with my "gut" may not be the wisest thing to do, boy do some places make it hard.

At UVA they served us lunch.  Just look. (yes I really did break out my camera to take pictures of my food. don't be judgin')

Buffet style lunch.  Oh yes.  Chicken-fried steak, mashed potatoes, honey-glazed carrots, corn, some other kind of steak, shrimp, and some strawberries and Honeydew.  You could basically pick anything you wanted and make a godbite out of it.  But I went for a chicken-fried steak plus mashed potatoes combo.

I think I would have loaded up my plate even more had I not been warned about dessert.  Good thing too.

Glorious isn't it?  I think it gives off its own light.  Some of the best cheesecake I've ever had.  SOooooo big too.  I was the only one who finished my piece (psh...lightweights).  Not finishing wasn't even an option on the table for me.  It wasn't on the table because the cheesecake took up the whole table.  Easiest decision I ever made.

Come again? You don't eat WHAT part?

Pies are awesome.  Why?  They make you feel kinda healthy. 

Haha nope.  Not even close.  When it's time for dessert, I say go big or go home.  You don't eat dessert to be healthy.  Please don't tell me you do.  I won't look at you the same again.  And don't ever ever mention that you don't eat the crust because it's the worst part for you.  I'll keel over in my chair.  Actually, I'll steal your crust and then keel over in my chair.  But not because it was unhealthy and I had a heart attack.  Rather, because my mind was blown.  You just ate a whole piece of pie for Pete's sake!!...well, almost a whole piece of pie.

But for serious.  What's the best part of the pie?  What's the pie godbite?

I already gave it away.  Definitely the crust - super flaky, crunchy, buttery, and all other great adjective-"y" words.

And if you can also get your last crust-bite (add that to the godbite food dictionary) to contain some of the pie innards, you're a hero in my book.  I'll show you what I mean.

 Apple pie.  My favorite.  Sorry pumpkin.  You're right up there at the top, but you can't beat apple.

It's so beautiful.  Like some scenic landscape.  I made it my desktop background...until I found a better one. 

Seriously.  It gets better.

Inhale. Exhale. Just Breathe.

I'm pretty sure eating qualifies as anaerobic exercise - at least in my house it does.  It's not at all infrequently that my brothers and I receive the compliment (at least we perceive it as such whether or not it was intended that way) of, "Wow, you sure inhaled that."  It's a cliche phrase, I know.  But it means a lot to me, and I feel several inches taller as I gaze down upon the common folk who need to pause to breathe during a meal.

It'll probably be my downfall (the whole not breathing thing.  Not the superiority complex.  Though that may also backfire sometime).  That's cause it keep me from talking.  Well, most of the time.

I'm eating - I've got a job to do.  I'm eating - I'm a guy, and I can't multitask (it's not pretty when I multitask eating, let me assure you).  I'm eating - So I'm not really listening to you because I'm busy planning my Olympic-qualifying godbite.

Alas!  Whoever thought up going out to eat as a social event clearly didn't ask my input. 

Fortunately, I didn't have to worry about that this last time I went out to eat.  The food was so good that none of my friends talked when the food came. 

Restaurant Week in Philly at Smith & Wollensky!!  Awesome steakhouse!

A moose watched us eat.  A little disconcerting.

Such good rolls.  This is my absolute favorite part of the meal - not really, but almost.  Foretelling good things to come.