Playing With Your Food

I don't know about you, but my mom always told me not to play with my food. Some people may not have listened, but I did.  I was a good kid.  I didn't play with my food.  Well, at least not in a way that would qualify as "playing."  I was sneaky.

I should've been allowed to play with my food, because I ended up going all cerebral on it.  If I couldn't play with it, then I'd think about it.

"They may take our lives, but they'll can never take our freedom!!"

(Yeah I did just pull out a Braveheart quote in reference to food.  It may not have worked perfectly, but that's how seriously I take it).

And that's how I would subversively play with my food.  Well, it technically qualified as "eating," but I was still having a blast.

Nothing was too little to think about.  Not even M&Ms.  The peanut ones were the most fun.  That's until they came out with the pretzel M&Ms.  Chocolate covered pretzels are so good!

 I'm sure I'm not original or anything, but its boring to just pop them in your mouth and munch.  So much more fun to eat the outside leaving the center intact.

Almost like trying to peel an orange and keep the skin in one piece.  Except that'd be a million times harder with an M&M.

 Looks so much smaller now.

To be honest though, I was kinda disappointed that there was just a pretzel nugget inside.  I was hoping for something more similar to a real pretzel like they had in the commercials. I've managed to get over my disappointment... a little.  I'm still a bit resentful.  They did get my hopes up after all.

So I don't know if my method for eating a pretzel M&M qualifies me as having food ADD, but -

...who am I kiding...yeah it does.

Food Science

I'm sorry.  I've been gone...for a month.  Or more.  My bad.  No excuses.

Well, I've got plenty of them.  Like this biochem exam staring me in the face.  But you don't care.  Because it's a ton more fun when its food staring you in the face.  Believe me, I agree.  

Which leads me to my deep scientific question of the day:  What came first, the wawa or the hoagie?

I thought about this a lot today.  Probably more than I should have. 


There are the testing supplies.  It's hard research but someone has to do it.  I volunteer my time.  Anything to serve my fellow man.

Unveiled.  Such a dramatic moment.  My favorite Wawa hoagie.  Meatball with provolone, Parmesan, roasted peppers, and oregano (makes everything in life better).

I was doubly happy because the Wawa person (I prefer "magician") didn't cut it perfectly in half.  Bonus points if you can figure out why that makes me so happy :)  That story for another day.

 As good as it smelled, I paused for a second to debate whether or not I could eat such a work of art.   It was actually only a fraction of a second.  Probably whatever the shutter speed was on my camera.  But, I couldn't tell you that because all I have to do if point my camera and click the button.  Yay for technology making life easier and people dumber!

 MEATBALLS!!!!!!!!!!

At halftime.  Let me tell you, it took some awesome skill and technique to eat this thing and not get it all over my camera.  I didn't even get it on my shirt which was even more amazing. I have a couple nice red stains on white shirts from other not so successful tries.

Finally got to my godbite - the crusty end of the hoagie, one entire meatball hidden away inside with the melted cheeses and dripping peppery goodness falling out the side.  Then, I heard a knock on my door.  Sorry whoever it was.  I heard you.  But I didn't answer. I was about to eat my godbite, and you sure as anything weren't going to interrupt that.    Not if I had anything to do about it.  And I did.  And it was good.  Probably a good thing I didn't answer the door.  You probably wouldn't want to have shaken my hands or looked at me talk.  But the dumbest smile of pure bliss would probably have been rather amusing.

But in the end, I never did figure out what came first.  I figure that's how science works.  You research, you can't find anything specific, you ask for more funding saying that you are closer to the answer but have not completely elucidated the complete mechanism whereby a effect b and yada yada. So if you would like to fund my continued research into this highly scientific endeavor, just let me know ;)